Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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