hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
