There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
