omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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