I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
