just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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