Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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