Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
