i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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