Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
