I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
