Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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