i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
