But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
literally had 100 drinks last night.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
