Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
