i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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