Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
