I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
