I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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