She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
