not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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