just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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