Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
