Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
