so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
