haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it hurts more in the daytime
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
