they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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