As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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