Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
