I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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