What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
