I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
