Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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