11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I deserve this hangover.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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