It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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