Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
