so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
