i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
