Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
vagina is talking i cant
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
