You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
