2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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