haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
