How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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