Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
is it fun? or sober?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
