If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Green mimosas i think yes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i out mim tonsoeep
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