I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
