Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
