Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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