His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
