I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
