So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
