It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
