like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
