what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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